The cleaning aisle is all lavender fields and vague promises. We brought receipts.
Good Grime looks up laundry and pet-mess cleaners in public records, does the cost-per-load math, and tells you which one to buy.
The receipts
2 of 9detergents we read pass all three ingredient checks. Neither is on the EPA Safer Choice list.8 of 12detergents list an ingredient that can carry 1,4-dioxane. 3 of those are EPA Safer Choice.6 of 6sheet brands that publish their ingredients list PVA, the plastic film.96 → 64ATP LaundraPet says up to 96 washes. Its own dose gives 64.
Every bottle says “gentle.” We pulled the paperwork.
Every cleaner says it’s gentle, natural and basically a spa day. We skip the vibes and look at the paperwork: government lists, recall records, California warnings and ingredient grades. Then we do the math nobody puts on the bottle.
Every flag links to the label or record it came from.
Care instructions for buying a cleaner
- Check the EPA Safer Choice list.
- Check for recalls (CPSC).
- Check for California Prop 65 notices.
- Read the EWG ingredient grade.
- Do the math: price per load or ounce.
Do not trust lavender.
Meet Soot, Head of Quality Control.
He has approved almost nothing since 2019.
Soot supervises the pet-mess pages. He reads every label, flags any oil that’s bad for cats, and has strong views on enzyme cleaners. None of them are polite.
See Soot’s least-hated pick